Wednesday 12 January 2022

Sedatephobia

I am absolutely terrified of the "silent treatment". Now you know how to punish me when you are pissed off with me. But I would rather you tell me why you are angry or hurt, what I did wrong, yell, fight, even beat the shit out of me and then maybe give me a chance to apologize, fix my mistakes and make it up to you. I human after all and I am allowed to screw up once in a while.. Aren't I?
I guess this deep fear stems from loss...loss of close friends, lovers(actually, there was just one of those), even cousins...who suddenly stopped talking to me and cut me out of their lives in utter silence. I guess the millennials call it "ghosting". I never got to know why and that will stay with me all my life.
Some might say this makes me sound way too emotional or even irrational... But aren't phobias supposed to be irrational and are they not driven by emotions? I am not a psychological expert so I am not sure of the answer here...but I am quite sure that there is nothing that terrifies me more than the silence of the people who are close to me.
~Joydeep Majumdar